How many times have I heard "you have to sleep in the bed you make"? What is my bed? Well...I have several...but one of them is: encouraging and supporting my husband's search for and acceptance of jobs in states far away from family....and then buying a house ( = long term commitment to living in a place) in states far away from family.
95% of the time, I am happy with the bed I have made....and happily sleep in it. The community of friends that we have built for ourselves in both Idaho and now Virginia...the experiences we've had...the trials and tribulations and joys that we've traversed on our own...have been such a growing and learning experience for us and, I believe, have strengthened our marriage. And...there is SKYPE which helps to lessen the distance.
But then...there are those 5% times where I am reminded very acutely how far away we live from our loved ones.
Instances like:
* wanting to go home and then realizing how much it will cost for 3 tickets....and you don't have the luxury of time to drive the 2300 miles one way.
* hearing about joys or concerns as an after-thought because you don't talk every day and it is forgotten when you do have a conversation.
* your children are growing and getting bigger and doing and saying funny things and becoming little people.
* on a visit home, there are suddenly 4 extra hands to help manage your children and feed them....4 extra eyes watching them....4 extra arms to hug them and hold them and carry them.
I had a "5%" moment yesterday. I was talking to a friend and suddenly became insanely jealous. Her in-laws are taking my friends' 10 month old twins overnight so my friends can attend a work party tonight...and as an added bonus...they'll get to sleep in tomorrow morning. I've been thinking on this ever since talking to her. What would it be like to have family close by? What would it be like to have family around who are willing to take the boys overnight once in a while so Dave and I could have a date night...or a date weekend? What would it be like to not have to worry about securing a babysitter....to not have to watch the clock, calculating what every 1/2 hour away is costing us (when we should be enjoying our time out)....to have uninterrupted sleep?!!! I'm not talking about once a week...or even once a month. I would happy with once or twice a year! I cannot even fathom what that would be like.
No. Wait. I can. 2 weeks to the day of me giving birth to Jakob, my mom (who was near the end of her 2 week stay with us) encouraged us to leave both boys in her care and go have dinner out...just me and Dave. Her reasoning: who knows the next time you can do so without having to pay a babysitter. Good point! We went to a local diner. Nothing fancy. And we were home in 1.5 hours. It wasn't overnight. It couldn't be with a 2 week old at home. But I felt human again. I felt like "Jessica" and not just "mommy". It did wonders for my state of mind. And in turn, she had some special "Oma time" with her two grandsons. Win Win for everyone!
I am happy with my beds. For good or for ill...they have shaped who I am and there are few things that I would change if I could. That being said....I am in the market for some floo powder or a SKYPE that allows instant travel within the system. You know...a kind of "Beam [them] up, Scotty". :) Let me know if you have a lead on either one. :)
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