A P.S.A. and Stig Update

First, a PSA (Public Service Announcement).  Then, an update on Stig.  :)

The PSA:

I realize that I am very lucky to be pregnant....again.  It is rather alarming to think of how many friends I have that are struggling to conceive or can't at all.  But I am nearing the end of my pregnancy....and my patience....with things that some in the general population seem to find acceptable and customary.  So, let me speak for both myself and many of my friends who have been pregnant (who I know will heartily agree with me with loud "harrumphs").

When speaking with or being in contact with a pregnant woman it is NOT appropriate to:

1. Touch her belly.  Seriously.  Unless you're my mother, hands off.  Would you just walk up to a random stranger and hug them?  No.  So why do people feel that the bellies of women-with-child are open to the public at large?  I was reminded of this in the grocery story this morning as a woman struck up a conversation with me about my pregnancy (she was very nice and maybe in her late 60's) and her grandchildren and then proceeded to reach out and touch my belly.  She's lucky I didn't go all Mama Bear on her.  My jaw literally hit my belly (it gets in the way of the floor) and I was completely speechless.  And I KNOW from other friends that I am not the first person this has happened to...nor sadly will I be the last.  But hear me now and listen to me later....don't touch the belly!  You might have a mama bear attacking you before you can blink.

2. Assume you know when she's due because of how "large" she is.  I cannot tell you how many times well intentioned (and I realize they are just that) people commented that I was "so close"....at the beginning of July.  When I told them that I actually still had 2 months to go, their jaws dropped to the floor (because they don't have huge bellies getting in the way) and they stammered out something about me looking like I could go any minute.  Great.  Thanks a lot!  Not only am I dealing with heat and humidity and feeling like I'm a beached whale, with 2 months to go....but they just completely confirmed the fact that I am HUGE.  Something I was hoping was just me being overly sensitive and self conscious.  And here's the kicker: it is ALL belly...at least with me.  I will be honest.  I have gained 21 pounds and as of today's appt, have started to lose weight...just like I did with Jeffery in the last weeks.  Dave says the belly just juts right out there like a missile....and it does....and it has (in my opinion) since I was 20 weeks.

If you are curious, ASK her when she's due and when she tells you, don't feel the need to comment on how big she is given the amount of time she has left.  Tell her she looks beautiful and fantastic.  You have NO idea how that will make her day.

3. Along those lines....saying things like "you look like you're about to pop" (like a woman told me last week).  No, I'm not a balloon.  I'm not about to "pop" as you say....but catch me on the wrong day after my toddler's been to timeout a couple times and the Braxton Hicks contractions are wiping me out and I just might POP you in the mouth.  :)  But in the nicest way possible.  :)

Red card pulled (thanks Aunt Weezie for the cards).  It's a hard knock toddler life in time out.

4. Start quoting trite cliches in the hopes of lifting her spirits.  I realize that this, again, is well intentioned but if I hear one more time "you're so close" or "just a couple more weeks" or keep your eye on the prize"....I might just lose it.  If it is a stranger and the conversation is ending awkwardly....heck, even if it is a close acquaintance but you don't know what to say....just end it by saying "Well, you certainly look fantastic.  I wish you all the luck in the world" and leave it at that.  Or, if you're a close friend or family member, remember that actions speak louder than words.  Offer to cook a meal for her, or assist in some household chore that has become too much (like laundry or mopping floors) or watch her kids so she could have some time to take a bath in private or a nap without interruption, or just come over and hang out and chat with her.  That will lift her spirits far more than any saying.  Believe me!

And 5. Do NOT ask if this will be her last child or is she planning on having more (like the woman in the grocery store did this morning after touching my belly....who is this woman?!!!).  I know I want more children (God willing) but at this stage of the pregnancy, I cannot fathom going through all of this again...and yet, God willing, I know I will.  I have friends who have 6+ children and are asked this question but in a much more sinister manner like "Well, after 6 children, I hope you are planning on being done".  Seriously?!  Why is it anyone's business?  And then I have a friend who, after struggling for 8 years with inexplicable infertility, finally had a baby and some random stranger asked if this will be her last child.  She would love to have more but doesn't know if that will ever happen and this person just opened up that can of worms but isn't willing or capable of dealing with the emotional consequences of their question....because they're a stranger.

Okay.  That is my Public Service Announcement for the day.  And forgive me if I am being particularly snarky but the woman at the grocery store today REALLY set me off and I realized just how many liberties people take on a daily basis with a woman who is pregnant.  It is really quite astonishing when I think about it.  I feel like I should be wearing the shirt seen below:

Yes, I'm pregnant.

It's a boy.

I'm due in August. (well, that is the shirt....September for me)

No, you can't touch my belly.

Any more questions?

Now for the Stig update....if you're still reading.  :)

I had my weekly appt today (yep...I'm to the once every week stage of the pregnancy).  I will be 37 weeks on Monday.  Where has the time gone?!  I had been feeling quite "off" the past 2 days so I was glad to go in and get checked out.  Heart beat?  Great!  Tummy measurement?  Perfect!  Weight for me? Fantastic!  Movement of baby?  Good grief...this one is a squirmer...and worse than his older brother!  :)  

We had our final appt with our doula-in-training.  The coolest thing about her being our doula (besides the fact that she is a dear friend who is going to be awesome in my time of need) is that we have asked her and her husband (also a dear friend) to be Stig's God-parents!  How many friends get to be your doula on their first time being a doula...and have the baby being born be their godchild?!  Pretty cool!!! :)  We are thrilled beyond belief that they said "yes"!  

Stig finally has a full name: first, middle,...and obviously last.  And I couldn't be more pleased with the name!  Jeffery and I skyped with my parents today for TWO HOURS (good grief...the time flew by) and it was hard to remember to NOT use Stig's real name...as Dave and I have been doing for some time.  :)  Soon.  Very Soon all will be made known.  :)

He also has his very own teddy bear.  :)  I made Jeffery his first bear when I was pregnant with him (Jeffery cannot be without Beau these days) and Stig needed his own bear.  So...I give you Jeb.  :)  Not sure if you notice a trend (Uncle Dave might...being the Civil War buff that he is) but we seem to have bears being named after Confederate Officers.  :)  P.G.T Beauregard and J.E.B. Stuart so far.  Mark my words....the next bear will either be "Lee" or Wally (for Stonewall).  :)  What would expect with a child being born in Virginia?!  :)

Jeb....waiting for Stig to arrive

And here I am...at almost 37 weeks.  It has been blessedly cool this week.  I'm talking about mornings being in the low 60's and highs only reaching 80 or so.  An August miracle!!!  It has put me in much better spirits (well...until the woman this morning at the store).  My wonderful friend, and former neighbor, is throwing me a shower this weekend and my mom and dad will be here in less than a month....and my mom is staying for 2 weeks!!!!!  They are already planning on fun outings with Jeffery....just the 3 of them....and are so excited to meet their newest grandbaby and spend time cuddling with him.  Dave always said that Stig was going to come in under the radar with as busy as we are and the fact that we have a toddler to focus on.  He wasn't kidding.  Truthfully, I am more than a little nervous about the whole labor and delivery aspect of this almost completed journey....but we are SO excited to welcome another sweet little boy into our family.