Life List

As many of you know, Dave has taken quite an interest in bird watching.  He has always loved birds and we've always had bird feeders in our yards...but the past few years have seen this interest really blossom to the point that he is now going on birding trips down to the Outer Banks and Virginia Beach, etc.  His goal is to have 300 birds on his "life list" by the end of the year.  

About a month ago, he started compiling a list of all the birds he has seen to build his "life list".  In doing so, he also decided to make a list for me.  Now...I am not much of a birder.  I can identify a hawk/eagle vs. a vulture in the air due to its wing shape.  I am normally the one who sees the Bald Eagles first as the sun hits their white heads or tail feathers.  I once had a Red Tailed Hawk graze my elbow with his wing as he was flying through my neighborhood.  But that is about the extent of my bird watching.  And that's okay.  As important as I believe it is for a husband and wife to have similar interests and activities they enjoy doing together...I think it is equally as important for them to have interests that do not involve the other and allow the person to grow as an individual.  

Anyway, despite my relative lack of interest in this activity (sorry Uncle Mike and Aunt Stephanie), he still decided to compile a "life list" for me.  Oh my goodness.  I don't think I've laughed so hard in a long, long time.  He knows me FAR too well as some of the comments are ones I have actually made...and others are ones that I've quietly thought to myself.  :)  But I just had to share with you.  So here is my bird "life list"....according to Dave.

Blue Jay	Noisy blue birds in the yard.
Red-tailed Hawk	A stupid hawk flew into me once.
Bald Eagle	I actually like these birds.
Pigeon	I like that one song about poisoning them in the park.
Mockingbird	Noisy trouble makers.  At least they chase the squirrels.
Goldfinch	I should never have gotten David that feeder.  So there are 5 on it at once?  Big whoop.
Cardinal	Red bird, whoopty-doo.
Duck	They all look like Mallards to me.
Sea Gull	Stupid white bird that makes a mess on everything.  They are all the same despite all that “Glaucous” hooey.
Sparrow	Who cares about little brown crappy birds?  All of David’s warblers are probably just sparrows with yellow butts.
Puffin	I only saw this bird because it was on the whale trip.
Woodpecker	Tap, tap, tap, what’s the big deal?
Crow	Honestly, does it flippin’ matter what kind?  A crow is a crow.
Owl	My favorite bird.  I can never talk smack about owls since one brought me my baby son and not a stupid stork.
Vulture	I hope they get David when he takes a nap in the yard this summer.
Chicken	I like these, especially when they are fried with orange peel and sesame seeds at Panda Express.
Warbler	I might have seen one or two, who knows.  David should join a flock of warblers and fly south for the winter.
Mourning Dove	Sometimes David thinks they are hawks.  What a moron!
Goose	Irritating fat ducks with green poo.  Rusty chased them (God rest his soul).
Grackle	Uncle Joe hits them with lemons.  I’d like to throw a lemon at David and all his stupid birds.
Dodo	My dear husband is one.
Turkey	i’ve never been much a one for turkey at Thanksgiving.  I also hate pie.