Rant: A Foray into Toddler Boy Clothing Purgatory

Forgive me but I need to vent for just a moment.  (stepping up on to my soap box)

Jeffery recently turned 3 and within the past month, I have noticed that many of his t-shirts which we bought for him last summer are really too short.  He is no longer a 2T.  :(  I thought that I would simply solve this by making a 10 minute trip to Target or Old Navy where I have been able to get nice shirts for him in the past.  I'm talking t-shirts that have either solid colors on them or a plaid or stripe design....or even some graphic tees with trains, tigers, dinosaurs, marine life, baseballs, etc on them.  The graphic tees are best for trips to the playground or the Gardens...places where he is going to get dirty for sure.  

First, I get to Target and realize that they don't have much interest in toddler boy clothing.  Really.  Go to your local Target or Old Navy or any clothes retailer and look at the floor space given to toddler boys.....vs. toddler girls.  It is astounding!  We're talking a 1/4 of the floor for boys to 3/4 of the floor for girls.  I get it.  Frilly and flouncy dresses and headbands are way cooler than polo shirts and pants.  But come on!  I thought equality was the name of the game these days.  Hmmm.....

Second, the options I have in the small toddler boy areas are few and far between.  I realized my mistake right away: I was looking for more t-shirts as every retailer is gearing up for autumn weather.  Long-sleeve shirts abounded but we have temperatures into the 80s well into September so I wasn't ready to go the cooler weather route.  The t-shirts that were available to me were either solid color or patterns....in 2T or 4T or 5T....but not 3T (grrrrrrr!)....OR....graphic t-shirts.  And the graphic shirts either came in Superman or Batman or Star Wars (have no problem with those but he doesn't know about them yet)....Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (who were annoying their first go around when I was in junior high)....or shirts with obnoxious sayings.  And here is the reason for my rant: these shirts with their obnoxious and sophomoric sayings.  They're everywhere.  I can't escape them.  Here are some selections that are currently at a retailer near you (the pics are mostly long sleeved but I saw short sleeved versions of them):

Others that I saw included: Born to be bad, I'm too cool for time out, and Just say no to siblings.  SERIOUSLY?!!!!  WHO BUYS THIS CRAP?!  Obviously, there are people....lots and lots and lots of people....who do or else these moronic and bordering on crass shirts wouldn't be sitting on the racks of department stores.

Let's blame the sugar?!  Really?!  Your child is that uncontrollable with you not checking their behaviour that this shirt actually has to exist?  I remember last Halloween....Jeffery had a bite size chocolate bar and went insane.  Truly.  He was the most hyper I've ever seen him....and we went over to someone's house where he was a terror.  I was embarrassed beyond belief and Dave and I were generous with the apologies afterwards.  We curtailed his chocolate consumption and it was a behavior that we made sure Jeffery knew was unacceptable....it sure as heck wasn't something I wanted memorialized on a t-shirt. (and yes, I realize the irony of memorializing it here.  Hahaha!)

I realize that the wearers of these shirts have no idea what they say....but I truly truly truly believe that the way a kid is dressed goes a LONG way in dictating their behavior.  I was recently in the cupcake store to purchase Jakob's cupcakes.  I had Jakob in the car seat and Jeffery was standing next to me.  I told him "no fingers"and to stay close to me and...just as he normally does...he obeyed.  He was wearing a blue polo shirt and some blue, red, and white plaid pants.  He was looking very GQ.  :)  This older woman behind us (very Richmond-southern down to the pearls at her throat) asked if he was feeling well because he was so well behaved.  I told her that we were blessed because he is normally like that....that he definitely has his toddler moments but that he is generally a very a good boy. She shook her head and talked about the "Ragamuffin" and "Hooligan" children she sees everywhere, running amok while their parents are distracted or disinterested and then said "But then again, it is my experience that those that look the part, act the part".

The short of the long is: 1) my children will NEVER wear shirts like the above pictures.  T-shirts with obnoxious sayings are not welcome in this house! 2) It would be Splendiforous if retailers could give as much floor space to toddler boys as they do to toddler girls.  3) I am told to count my lucky stars because parents who had boys a generation or more ago were really in a pickle when it came to finding clothes for their little ones.  I guess the selection I have is light years beyond what they had.  That fact alone makes me shudder.

I came home from my foray into toddler boy clothing purgatory frustrated and not knowing what to do to solve my initial problem: Jeffery's 2T shirts are too short.  My only option at this late hour in summer is to hold out and make do and start buying long sleeved shirts.  (sigh)

Maybe the autumn colors and crisp air will put me in better spirits!  :)