A Tribute

This past week and weekend has been filled with an insane range of emotions for me: shock, sadness, resignation, humility, shock (again), speechlessness, awe, thankfulness, and love.  I'm sure that is only the tip of the iceberg.

In the midst of all of these emotions, I have learned...or been reminded...of a couple very important facts. 

1. I have a wonderful and an amazing husband who is an absolutely INCREDIBLE father! (read further to find out why)
2. Life is short.  Too short for some.  My family is good...is fantastic...about reminding each other VERY frequently (weekly...if not more) how much we love one another.  We make sacrifices...we plan vacations...so that we can create and share joyous memories together that will someday (lump in my throat starting to form)...be the only things we have left of these people.  To paraphrase a verse from the book of Isaiah: all flesh is grass....and the grass withers.  And now with the advent of Jeffery....it is their priority and our priority to involve each other in one another's lives as much and as frequently as possible...even more than before.  This weekend has only proven to me just how TERRIBLY TERRIBLY important that is.  (read further to find out why)
3. In this day of cynicism and bad news left and right....we forget that there are strangers out there who consistently go the extra mile for people they've never met nor will ever know.  There are corporations that step up and show why they deserve our business and support.   (read further to find out why)
4. Family and friends are the most important thing that you can surround yourself with.  I've already kind of hinted at this but it deserves repeating.  Too often, we get busy in our own lives...our work, our health issues, our purchases, our success,....our excuses.  We forget what is truly important.  When we die....people can read our resume of life accomplishments.  But our legacy...the thing that matters and the thing that makes the whole life journey worth it is is our resume when it comes to our life relationships and if we nurtured those relationships.  Husband, wife, father, mother, sister, brother, son, daughter, grandparent, grandchild, aunt, uncle, niece, nephew, cousin, friends....if you were graded...how would you fair?  I know for me...I have some areas needing improvement.  But if you're reading this....then it is obviously not too late to change a barely passing grade...or a failing grade...into a B...or even an A.  (read further to find out why)

The reason for my soapbox above is simple: my Uncle Ronald A. Sell passed away on Tuesday, July 10th at the age of 68....VERY unexpectedly.  He was...he is...my mom's brother; the middle child of the 3 Sell Siblings.  If there is anything beautiful about the events of his passing it is that he was surrounded by his entire family.  He and my Aunt Peggy, my cousin Olin and his wife and their 3 children, my cousin Ingrid, my cousin Patrick and his wife and 2 children, and my cousin Molly and her husband (and baby due this fall) were all on day 2 of a week-long camping and boating trip up in Ely, MN and having a fantastic time.  And it was in the midst of this trip that everyone had been so looking forward to, in the midst of the love of his family...in the midst of his legacy...that he was taken from them.  Click here to read his obituary.  

Uncle Ronnie

When I found out of his passing, I was in complete shock.  He and his family had always lived in NYC.  If you read his obituary, you will understand why.  As my family was out in Arizona...we didn't see much of each other unless we all met up for a week or so at Grandma and Grandpa's house in Iowa.    He came out for my high school graduation....flew out all the way from NYC.  I remember being so happy that he came.  He played at our wedding.  And over the past couple years, with my cousin Olin and his family living in VABeach, Ronnie and my Aunt Peggy have stopped in Richmond a couple times on their way to see Olin and treated us to lunch.

I was in shock.  But...there was no way I could make it to Northfield, MN...where he was going to be buried.  My sister and I wanted to be there for our family...but it just wasn't going to be possible.  My parents left on Friday and Julie and I (on opposite sides of the country) went with them in spirit only.  

And that is when my shock grew exponentially.  And that is when I fell in love with Southwest Airlines (yes...it is a plug...no, I am not ashamed...and yes....you should fly them!!!!)  My cousin Olin is a Navy Seal...a Commander.  He is the eldest of all the grandchildren in the Sell family (a total of 6).  He called me Friday night and point blank asked me why Julie and I weren't coming to his dad's funeral.  I gave our reasons...our excuses (all of which were really legit).  But this is a man who doesn't take "No" for an answer....and whose job it is to oversee logistics for special ops teams.  As my jaw hit the floor, he told me that he had befriended an executive at Southwest Airlines recently and that because of this friend...all Julie and I had to say was "yes"...and there would be tickets waiting for us at the airport ticket counter.  Here was a random stranger who I will never meet, who doesn't know a thing about me....and yet he was willing to help me and my sister get to MN to be with our family during this time.  I was floored and my head was spinning but...Julie and I said "yes".

I am a new devoted customer...fly into Richmond soon, Southwest!

There was the issue of Jeffery to consider.  Initially, I made plans to take him.  I knew people would want to see him and meet him and I didn't want to leave Dave in the lurch for an entire weekend...a weekend where he had job responsibilities at church.  But, as I went to bed Friday night...knowing that I would be leaving on Saturday...I still didn't have the foggiest idea of what time I would be leaving the next day...and the imagined schedule of the whole weekend made me start to rethink my plans.  And that is why Dave is the most amazing husband and father.  He stepped up and told me not to worry....to go and leave Jeffery with him...and they would have a "boys" weekend.  :)  I had never left Jeffery for that long...Dave had never been on his own with Jeffery for that long...but Dave was insistent so Jeffery stayed home.

Excited about a boys' weekend!

 I got a call from Southwest on Saturday morning at 8am.  By 10:30, I was driving myself to D.C. and Dulles airport to catch a flight to Minneapolis where I would arrive at 6:40pm.  As I was driving to D.C., I was thinking about how just surreal all of this was...and how only 16 hours before...I wasn't even going to the funeral.  It still boggles my mind.  :)

Dad picked me up at the airport and we immediately headed over to the University of Minnesota...to catch the last half of a Drum Corps International contest.  My Uncle Ronnie was passionate about many things...his family being first and foremost.  But right behind his family....came drum corps.  As many of his friends and family stated at his wake, his involvement in drum corps is what paved the way for his future career in music.  It had already been planned that his family would attend this contest...with him.  After he died, there was absolutely NO question of where they would be that night...and my parents felt the same way.  I have been to several DCI contests...and one championship...in my life and I always forget just HOW amazing these contests can be.

Phantom Regiment...my favorite when I was growing up (according to my cousin Patrick)

Phantom performing "Turandot"

The "wall of sound" literally blows you away!  :)

Let me just take a moment to say that the Madison Scouts (my Uncle Ronnie's favorite corps) was robbed that night....the Blue Devils should NOT have won...and the winners should have been the Carolina Crown because they were UNBELIEVABLE!!! Uncle Ronnie would have been so terribly pleased to see all of us there.

We all attended church together on Sunday and then the afternoon was the visitation followed by a family and friend prayer service that night where we were all invited to share our memories and stories of Ron.  It was a beautiful service that only illustrated just how many lives my Uncle Ronnie had touched.  An example: his 6 pallbearers the next day were his dearest friends from high school and college...people that were still some of his dearest friends...50 years later.  Friends (not just family) changed vacation plans and family plans and traveled from CA and NY and all over just so they could remember their friend, uncle, cousin, brother, father, husband.  Even in-laws came.  My cousins Olin, Patrick and Molly all had their in-laws in attendance...in laws from Minnesota, Ohio, and Maryland.  The gathering of people who had known my Uncle Ronnie throughout different stages of his life was so special to see and must be a huge source of comfort for his family.  The man was not only respected but dearly, dearly, dearly loved.

Even my dad's younger brother and wife...Uncle Roger and Aunt Vicki...drove the 4 hours from Iowa to attend the visitation.  It was fantastic to see them again.  All of these people descending upon the small town of Northfield, MN....home to St. Olaf College...it was amazing!

The Harris Contingent...Dad, Uncle Roger, and Aunt Vicki

The funeral on Monday was a beautiful tribute to a very blessed man.  Ingrid read scripture, Olin and Pat spoke, and Molly played the french horn (my uncle's instrument) and sang.  At the cemetery, Olin played "Taps" on his harmonica.  It was a beautiful morning....and the only person missing...the person who would have been most pleased at having all these people together in one place...was my Uncle Ronnie.

Andy, cousin Molly, cousin Ingrid, Faith, Suzy, Ronan, cousin Olin, Eryn, cousin Patrick, Lauren, Paddy, Aunt Peggy 

Sell/Harris Cousins: Julie, Pat, and me

A "Swedish Picture" was a MUST.  Long live the Swedes!

As far as his lifetime accomplishments, if you didn't read his obituary...it reads something like this: Graduate of St. Olaf College, received M.A. from Manhattan School of Music; played at Radio City Music Hall; contracted orchestras for Broadway productions; played in over 37 different shows including Sondheim's "Sunday in the Park with George", both the original and revival productions of "Into the Woods", the revival of "Kiss Me Kate", and "Crazy for You"; performed with the New York Philharmonic and the Metropolitan Opera; player and Personnel Manager for the American Symphony.
His involvement in "Sunday in the Park with George"...a musical we had on VHS when I was 8 or so...has been the reason it is one of my favorite musicals...and the reason that the painting the musical is based upon (Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte by George Seurat) is my favorite painting of all time.  He had a horn solo that both opened the musical and closed the 1st Act.  I used to watch our VHS knowing that was my Uncle Ronnie I was hearing play.  On Wednesday, after learning of his death, I found myself on youtube....listening to just a short clip of him....over and over and over again.

Listen to the whole clip....or skip ahead to 3minutes, 19 seconds.  The horn that you hear...that is my Uncle Ronnie.  (it is also him as the clip begins)



Sadly, I didn't know my Uncle Ronnie as well as I would have liked.  I guess I always thought there would be more time to develop a deeper relationship.  But now...with my dad's older brother having passed away in his early 50s ten years ago in a similar manner...I wonder why anyone puts off till tomorrow what should be done today...when it concerns family and friends and nurturing those relationships.

His resume above is impressive in my opinion.  We were....are...all terribly proud of him.  He had a beautiful talent, was a beautiful artist...and shared that talent and artistry (in one way or another) with hundreds of thousands of people over the course of his career.  It is all very impressive.  But what is even more impressive...the legacy that I spoke about earlier...is the family he left behind.  The sisters who adored their brother, the wife who loved him and was a partner with him for over 43 years, the children whose love of life and humor and fun and music was influenced by him, the grandchildren who sadly won't grow up knowing their Grandpa but will know (I'm sure) just how much he loved them, the nieces who were proud to have him as their uncle and wish they could have known him better.  And that says nothing about all of his dear friends.  It is his family....all of the faces in the picture below...that is his greatest legacy...his greatest accomplishment and we will all miss him dearly.

The Sell Family

 We love you Uncle Ronnie.